Saturday, December 27, 2008

Find me a word that rhymes with pasture.

like a puppet turned out to pasture,
strings too stretched and frayed to hold,
face too torn and garments too old.
a tiny cross upon left cheek:
didn't mean for you to worry for weeks,
well, not about the indices or the soul:
worry about it all as a whole.
asking dead lettermen for the time:
it's just ticking backwards in a line.
see these eyes that turn these feet
they are like twins that never meet,
playing a song that each other knows
and looking at the same gaps between toes.
no point in reflections, mirrors lie-
just like the show we never thought would die,
like the puppet turned out to pasture,
wasn't performing the same as last year.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What's a Frypan without a Pancake?

[Excuse me because I am unsure.]

A dictionary of question marks.
An explanation, not something of substance,
Almost a paradox of better and worse.
I will accept only one, just tell me which.

Yeah, you taught me what to hate;
Familiarities are hard to come by,
Did you ever realise, risky skies?
They will hold out for another day.

Decimals have always been so definite,
But I confused them for fractions.
I hope this makes you think now.
I'm ready to reveal it all now.

You could have wandered, wondered,
Seen these phrases and situations,
I write about what I know:
So I guess that's why I write about you.

Too scared to date this.
Too scarred to relate this.
It's a tear and a tear.
You can pick what you'd prefer.

(Sometimes I fear you don't have what you'd prefer.)

Like an artist writing about an artist, or the other way around.

One part assurance
To every two parts water.
Caught in the sunshine,
Hands buried deep.
What you're looking for isn't there.


A simple fascination
That could give a complex;
Like the ring on my finger.
You'll wonder why my hand drags behind.
An ink pad run dry
From the flood of words
Feelings.
Real-ings?
It has given me the excuse I've wanted all this time,
Given the chance not to do a thing.
Felt so right- dug deep.

And you gave me stardust as to never forget what wishes really are.
Like an artist writing about an artist, or the other way around.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

In the Dark

Bringing up insecurities in an alcohol mix-
Went from biting my nails to biting the bullet.
We get away with so much more than we should,
So just blame it on the darks loss of judgment.

I know the answer to yes's and no's,
That probably shouldn't have been put here,
So blame it on the dark, my eyes grow red.
I am locked inside my comfort zone.

There's a wish on my lips I won't dare breathe,
All of mine have come true- it sounds so joyful.
Shouldn't have been there in the first place,
I'd forgotten about them yet they came around again.

Music too soft? Hands too broken?
From your head, it's all too much.
I can count to 10 backwards
Just not the other way around.

Guess what? I'll blame it on the dark
That I don't know what I want this to be,
Slipping through the cracks in cement,
Because it's always dark down here.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Dummies Guide to Breathing

I know how the darkness takes over the light in your world, so suddenly, collectively. Am I making this sound too dramatic? It’s worth it all for you, because I have memories that just couldn’t live up to the reality that I am in now. Just know that it stings, it burns, but how can you hold on to something that only used to be there?



Stars watch over with heavy eyes,
With wrist watches checked too often
And looking at the ground expectantly.
Rip your heart off your sleeve
It is all my doing; remember that
We used to be so close in the water
Now it’s towering over our heads.
Sometimes I lie about forever,
Do you believe me now?
I always told you I was a bad person.
But I’m worse than the winter winds.
That are wrapping their arms around you,
Realise that they are fleeting.
Seasons have taught me so much about the year,
About anything that’s everything:
Just like we used to promise.

Monday, December 15, 2008

They all sound the same

Blame it on the rain that your flame is running blue,
So pretty to watch, but burns organs deep.
I'm a take person that's given my all to you,
Underperformed from slipping down mountain sides.

On the way to redemption there's dented walls of red,
I punch walls on the outside to put them up on the inside,
No one told you the stance or where you were being lead,
Is it anticipation or guilt that is starting to slide?

Woke up to an empty house, one I know you won't visit,
Those scratches down backs, they've seen it all,
Smile on queue while my insides are being lit.
The marks on my neck make it harder to both forget and recall.

I buried the blue flame that had changed with the sky,
Gone though sunrise, day, sunset and night.
Took the shimmer it held from years ago, put it in your eye,
Whispering secrets so false, but still caused my soul to ignite.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Love Rhymes with Heartbreak

-this is really quite old.

[This is what I see when I depart, a pin sized hole in your heart.
You are a piece of imaginary art that has been placed between where the gaps part.]

Let me be the one to leave without taking a step,
I know you've always liked it more when there was distance
It leaves way for desperation and recognition of need for one-another
This is something I am craving.

Your desire for I is lost with the tide gone out and will not be there when it returns.
Perhaps I suffocated you in my waves of emotion but surely your mind could overturn my strongest hit.
One day I will beat you.

For now, thank you for being the fuel for emotion and passion.
But, please, I'm better off without it all.
I could reach for your hand but now, all I'd find is air.
So simple and seemingly meaningless,
Yet you and I both know it carries a message greater than the weight of our two beings combined.

I have not yet found it

Cold but not vacant,
So please don't lose touch.
Today I sorted clothes;
Two piles instead of three.
You'd be so proud.
Acomplishments are fleeting.
Five and a half years;
So much has changed in that time.
But failures still hang clouds over eyes.
In the space between then and now,
When I join you with clouded over eyes:
There's always a time to let go
When you've been taught your whole life to hold on.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Neither Nor

Sitting in commentary chairs, relying on the wind to show our dreams to the world.
I heard your wish for your picture to be painted with the eyes like galaxies.
Impossible, there is no substance behind eyelids that flutter too quickly.
Besides, my paint is all but dried upon my skin to resemble battle wounds.
The dark cannot hold you, nor will it be the chemicals relieve your sins.
So yeah, I guess I just stole your star from where you held it,
You never kept it close enough to treasure but I guess it kept you warm.
Now it seems too close to me because I feel it burning to the core.
And don't you talk to me about being weak when your angel still hangs over your head.

Answerless

Salt water is dripping from the counter,
Excuses come easy but not resolutions.
I'm looking for definitions in the bible,
Where does it give us solutions?

Stop, relax, sit back, take it easy,
What would your mother think of that?
Took your hand in mine under the table,
It's not so easy to turn it all back.

Simple days soaked in sunlight,
Made us smile, but left us blind.
I never spoke when I should have,
All we are and were is undefined.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

We were watching the television when halfway through the program you turned it off,
I asked you why and said that I was watching it.
"You were watching it but not pay attention, the same way you are watching me now but don't notice the red in my eyes where the white used to fill."

In all of the sublties and dead ends I found closure, not knowing what I want but knowing that it's spreading the sickness to my core.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Writers Break Egos not Hearts

In between us exploded into pixie dust,
Just like the paper your holding in your hands,
Threatening to rip words not written about you,
I say 'I'm sorry' but only because you found out.

With your hands in a frenzy the words are torn,
You aren't crushing bones like you're meant to,
Just tearing at skin each and every time-
It's beyond you that I'll just write more.

Zone out, push me back in, I don't belong.
Secret handshakes only stay a secret if no one sees,
That is where I made the error, I was clever
Yet not enough to make you hear or stay.

Was this all you wanted? It's for you now,
Something written for you, and the gaps in your teeth
Won't whistle an acknowledgment this time,
I could never praise you in my words.

Lightning

A fan of flashes that come in all white.

Raindrops are just needles to inject life into land,
While putting hand brakes on before the light shines green,
Sliding not slipping through roads tight as held hands,
It's not always easy to speak of where I've been.

Don't walk alone down alleys or dirt roads at night.

You taught me all I needed to know about distance
And changing gears with limited visibility,
Although why have I been brought into your existence?
Our names fit as an abuse of alliteration, my vulnerability.

Never did you see the oil and blood on our road.
I was telling you we are moving faster than the needle rain.
You weren't an escape or something to ease the load,
Just something to put a little ease on the pain.

Sealed lips don't always bring delight.

Couldn't tell you how anything made me feel,
Why do you seal your eyes when it's thunder you 'see',
Are you shifting emotions, trying to make them real?
I'm lost in the rain again, but you'd expect that from me.

Sometimes lightning seems the only light.

"I once spilt my milk on purpose"

Scars on chest, sand in lungs,
Burning toes and liquid eyes.
Fighting against the wind,
For a single breath to stay.

Awkward as the first kiss,
Destructive as the last,
Your words are the rhythm
That my feet and lungs follow.

This could be the direction
Or the change I despise.
Sunglasses on, struck a pose,
Felt the liquid eyes seep.

I don't know what I love more:
You versus the idea of you,
Former hidden within this form,
Latter too late to think of.

Sometimes I fear I've lost;
Eye contact of souls disappeared,
Looking across tops of buildings,
Trying to find substance in words.

Funny, how 2am whispers wake me,
As though you're sending a message,
"I don't need you or anybody else",
Locked that door. Buried the key.

Stumbled my way home through diamonds,
Eyes turned from liquid to stone.
Ripped apart my chest to briefly check,
Nearly choked from ashes gushing out.